I don't know about you, but I'm really looking forward to Bachelor Pad 2. I really need to wash this taste of Ashley out of my mouth.
Bachelor Pad 2 is shaping up to be The Battle for Bawling Supremacy. That should easily come down to Gia vs. Vienna, and maybe that other ugly blonde that I can't remember the name of off hand. I weawwy wike Gia to emewge victowious thewe. It's funny to see Blake DDS drawing this kind of ire from the women. He couldn't have been more innocuous before this, yet now he's hitting on anything that moves. They even called him a "sociopath." Must be his incessant need to grin at everyone with that smile courtesy of Invisalign. See? I told you dentists were weird.
Yeah, we've all been there, Tim. And by "there" I mean been blackout drunk on national television. I'm sure you're not an alcoholic or anything. Chris, like 95% of the English-speaking population, misuses the word "irony" suggesting that it's somehow "ironic" that Tim was drunk and a liquor distributor. I'd say that's perfectly appropriate, Chris. Tim sure talked a lot for a guy that was on the show for about 10 minutes. I was amazed how little the alcohol affected his speech.
"Easily one of the most talked-about people ever on the show..." Oh shut up about this already. First, no one bought into the idea that Jeff actually devised this mask stunt himself. Second, he was a complete bore and might as well been invisible save the little Phantom segues you predictably worked into each episode. Third, absolutely no one talked about this guy. There are times when the producers play the puppet master and things work out beautifully. This is not one of those times. Chalk it up as a loss and move on, and stop with this revisionist history already. You're embarrassing yourselves here. Did anyone see those online clips of Jeff in "Ask the Mask?" No? Good. Don't bother, well, unless you want to see a 35 year old guy with a crooked hat talking about "getting your mums on" when asked about planting flowers. Then by all means watch.
Ashley seems to still not have figured out Bentley. She's also shocked that "America" was so hard on her over it, to the point of real tears. The thing that confused me was that she surely has met guys like this before. How could she be so clueless about some idiot running game the entire time? Nice radar you've got there. Even in hindsight she's still clinging to this notion of seeing the good in him. Well, it's a good thing she ended up with a couple of yes-men instead of someone that challenges her. I'd hate to see her overheat that brain.
I loved Ryan blathering on and looking back at the guys in a "am I right?" moment only to have them looking at him like he had three heads. Some things are played up to look different than they are, but this didn't need any fancy editing. Ryan's straight up odd. Still not convinced? This is how he responded to Blake questioning his behavior after being let go:
"Going into the show, I actually bought multiple books. Umm, I bought a book on questions to ask before getting engaged, questions to ask before getting married, and book of fabulous (!) questions. Read 'em cover to cover. Made pages upon pages of notes. And Nick will back me up on this, and so will Ben C. Pages on pages of notes so when I sat down with her I'm asking some questions to her about family, lifestyle, you know.. I mean.. the deepest of questions. So, my time with her -- I don't know what yours was -- but mine was very, very real."
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| "Wait... you bought books?" |
Looks to me like someone lost any shot they've got to be the next Bachelor. All he had to do was sit in that seat for five minutes and not be a total weirdo. I guess that was asking too much. That was a trainwreck, and not the good kind. It was a toxic gas leak at an elementary school kind of trainwreck. Good riddance, Ryan. I hope you're better at being a solar energy executive than you are at talking to humans.
Ben C. vs. William was boring. The Chin vs. The Flop. I don't care if Ben was perfecting his match.com profile, nor do I care if William is aware that he's unfunny. Then again, there isn't much else to explore since Bentley was a no-show, so I guess we're stuck with this for 90 minutes.
William saying "so gorgeous, so used" even makes me cringe, and I'm a cynical bastard. His exit was the flame out of the century. I was at least entertained.
I never would have expected it, but Nick is going for MVP of The Men Tell All.
Ames confirmed that he's the product of a lab experiment gone awry, but in a good way. Kind of like when that guy from 3M discovered the residue-free adhesive for Post-it® Notes. At first he was like "oh shit, what's this?" Then he realized, "wait a minute, I could make millions by putting this on some yellow square pieces of paper and selling it at Office Depot." Seldom do you see someone on TV and feel like that's exactly how they are in real life, but I think that's the case with him. I don't know if being on Bachelor Pad 2 precludes him from being on The Bachelor or what (the timing shouldn't be an issue as they haven't selected anyone yet, and Pad 2 has already wrapped), but he (still) seems like the obvious choice to me. Maybe he's still with Jackie. I find that nearly impossible to believe, but if so, that would exclude him.
Big shock: no Bentley. Of course that didn't stop them from acting like he'd be there.. complete with promo clips that people hadn't seen before, somehow implying that he was making these comments on this show. Dumb. Even now, I'm still not sure what Bentley's "plan" was. Had he carried things out to the end, that would have been some ground-breaking reality TV. Leaving a few episodes in just left us asking what could have been. Can you imagine Bentley vs. J.P. in the finals? How good would that have been? I'm finding myself getting a little mad just thinking about the lost opportunity. It could have been special, folks.
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